Smile; )t increases your face value

pon-and-zi-41

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

If you shoot a ball one way and it doesn’t produce the results you wanted, you gotta try something different … maybe use different english, perhaps more, perhaps less, maybe punch at it, maybe drag it, maybe more follow through, maybe even play a safe or play it in a different pocket all together …. similarly life requires us to adjust to the new situations we’re presented and tests what we can handle.

Today and each day forward will be new, so why is it so easy to repeat the mistakes of yesterday? Comfort, Stubbornness, Ignorance?? Sometimes it’s so easy to become consumed with the darkness, the flinging of mud just keeps being flung. Even when you don’t really want to any long, your hands still follow the motions of recent – and you find you are so caked with mud, you can’t even see what happening. I’m kinda tired of feeling that. Putting it out there and leaning on others for clarity and understanding has really helped but eventually you gotta make the leap away. I gotta see the bright side even in the clouds.

Those who know my dad know he’s basically the human encyclopedia … the man knows too much for his own good half the time. Yet he’s terrified that his clock will run out faster than it had to IF ONLY he’d learned how to stop it. So he reads and reads and reads all the history books, medical journals, business reports, etc. Everything he can – it consumes him. He doesn’t want to make a mistake, especially on the last decision of his life. One of my dad’s favorite quotes is, ” Those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them.” He doesn’t want his tombstone to read, “if I’d only known…”

Many friends told me stories of exes hooking up with their friends and while it always was viewed as poor taste, it’s the way each handled it that was so vastly different – cry, yell, ignore, pretend not to care, seek revenge – so which history lesson is the right one to follow??? Then again for for every cliche spoken there’s a counter quote to nullify the philosophical moment of worded brilliance.

I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes.

Maybe throughout my trials of good versus evil of late, I’ve not seen the bigger picture enough. I think perhaps I lost sight of who I am and what I stand for most. Not to confuse my still firm belief that they both have integrity of a snake, they were both embarrassingly desperate and I’m better off without them … a house of cards ….

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken unto a wise man who built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man who built his house upon the sand: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.”Matthew 7:15-27

Perhaps my last entry’s finale was what sent me in this direction. It’s not my job to inflict the punishment of the damned, though the satisfaction of retribution is sometimes hard to pass up. But eventually you get to a point where the line of justified and self-serving becomes blurred. If you cross to the latter, than you’re no better than the ass-hole that sent you on this course… Karma will have it’s day and I take comfort in that so, new direction —

Count your blessings, not your sorrows – my reinstated M.O.

Side note … do you know what M.O. stands for??? I was talking to Lauren I think?? and neither of us knew what is was short for … maybe she did … I don’t recall … she definitely knew SOP LOL For any useless trivia buffs out there, it Latin for modus operandi and englishly translated to “mode of operation.”

cag-olgaNegative energy is so powerful-a plague. It multiplies at such an exponential rate that it’s hard for your positive reinforcements to keep up – that’s where friends, family, lovers, co-workers, whatever support system you have, come into play. They’re the wedge that allows the positivity to catch up and kick the shit out of the bad thoughts – you just gotta be open to the battle changing hands. Olga’s always saying, “think positive, we gotta think positive. If we think positive, we have good energy!” Beautiful and smart – I kiss you Olga! muah!

I was walking home from work yesterday – yes my three block walk home – and this girl in awesome camel colored knee high boots walked towards me. I, in my own black knee high boots, walked and we both glanced at the other’s boots in admiration, looked up, recognized the mutual fondness for the other’s taste in shoes and smiled. Her smile was so big and gorgeous, it was contagious.

That one brief moment was quite possibly the first time in nearly two months I didn’t feel numb to people. I was infected with happiness from a perfect stranger. I thought of nothing but the beauty that exists in this world – not the shoes or the girl per se, but more the healing power of simple human interactions of kindness.

A smile can be so persuasive. My puppy Kayci, can smile so big, it melts me every time. Nothing is better than her reaction when I walk through the door. It’s as if the last 8 hours I was gone were 10 years and the 10 seconds it takes to put my coat and purse down are 10 more years! Her tails wags, “I love you, I love you, I love you, Hold me!!”

Tony has this uncanny way of bringing out the kid in me and my serious, corporate world. I often look at him with what he calls the “I love you” look and it just calms me. His sincerity is infectious. If you’re willing to let go of bad people and bad memories, you’ll enjoy the good ones that much more.

You’ll find yourself smiling — even when no one’s looking.

So first, I wish I could thank that girl for smiling at me. You reminded me of who I used to be and who I don’t want to be anymore … and p.s. where did you get those boots??

Second, try smiling at a perfect stranger today – You might just change their whole life. (yes Lauren, I’m back to being sappy, corny Gail again!) 😛

BECAUSE YOU SMILED

I raised my head and saw you there across the room from me.

A smile had started in your eyesa nd it was – good – to see.

One moment, then it reached your lips and lingered for awhile,

I wonder – “Do you know the joy that traveled with your smile?”

A smile is such a little thing, and used so sparingly.

Sometimes – it’s awfully hard to do, but – Oh – it’s good to see.

When I feel tired, or low within as I often do,

It’s good to look across the room and have a smile – from you.

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~ by g2 on November 7, 2008.

One Response to “Smile; )t increases your face value”

  1. Sappy Gail rules! I was starting to feel in a bit of a paradox when I realized I was actually telling you to look at the positive of the situation. What is the world coming to when I am the positive, bright-eyed one in our relationship? I am glad you are back to normal, so I can go back to my cynical self once again:-)

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